I got measured

44% body fat weight... I'm sad 

Happy new year

Happy new year.

2015 has been an exhausting year. There are times when I try to think whether 2013 was harder or 2015 was worse.

I guess, 2015 was a personally tough year and romantically horrifying one at that.

I started off 2015 on a ship with my ex husband where we were in fact on our honeymoon somewhere in Thailand.

I was horrifyingly sick and stayed in bed and missed out on the fireworks.

My then husband stayed with me.. I believed we were in love.

We came back, moved into our new family home and three weeks later- he called it quits.

From a work perspective it was absolutely draining. I went through 3 redundancy rounds, each time surviving.

Watching my fellow colleagues leave was awfully difficult.

Nonetheless, during this time- I also won and award for my hard work and was recognised at my company for it in front of my peers. 

I also got a promotion so it wasn't all bad.

I've had to learn to cope and evolve. I found myself not being able to cope at times at all and having to reach out for professional help. The guidance I received professionally and from family friends have been immensely valuable.

I also got to learn who my true family and friends were and also see who I didn't need to care about.

I also embarked on new adventures on my own, learning that I didn't necessarily need someone to accompany me to try and do different things was empowering. 2015 saw me take mandarin classss-"Ni Hao everyone ", go to the gym and start my Aqua aerobics class routine, and commenced my journey again with studying the bachelor of business.

All in all, 2015 felt like a cleansing and learning process for me...

And now whilst I write this in my friends spare room, trying my best not to yawn.

I'm interested to see what is in store for me for this year because clearly you can never predict anything that's coming.

The work Christmas party

Just over a week ago, I attended my work's Christmas party which had a 1980's theme to it.

I have to say- it was a lot of fun and I enjoyed every moment of it.

There was a lot of food and alcohol and being able to let my hair down was a massive difference to being so high strung. 

I long for those days where I'm just a lot of fun and not a ball of stress and worries.

Maybe that should be my goal for 2016!

So this was Christmas

This Christmas holiday season has probably been one of the hardest for me.

The past 5 years, I have been spending it with my ex and his annoyingly idiotic family.

I had somewhere to go and somethingng to complain about each year. 

It's hard when your own family don't celebrate Christmas or that this time of the year makes me feel even lonelier.

It really exacerbates the problem.

I tried remembering what life used to be like before my ex. What did i do with all the Christmas' before that? Can't remember. 

This year was also a non event but i struggled with the sadness.

Oh well...

I truly hoped everybody else had a wonderfull Christmas.

The ace of swords

The ace of swords  is about facing your fear and doing it anyway. It's about new beginnings...

It would be nice if I could begin again with work, life and romance.

Nonetheless-

Today  I went to get my usual facial, that in itself was a bad idea considering it's almost Christmas and the parking situation at any of the major shopping centres is terribly hectic.

It took me almost 30minutes just go get out.

Felt extremely frustrated. 

I don't know how people manage to do it. 

Gang Christmas rush is crazy

Losing some weight time

I forgot to draw a card this morning...but I survived.

Had aqua aerobics and my legs are now super sore. 

I've decided as of tomorrow, other than having the last of my yoghurt, I will go pales/dukan style diet. I want to desperately lose my winter/last 5 years of unnecessary weight.

Let's see how all of this goes

The three of cups

So the card I picked out today is the 3 of cups.

Which apparently means "a joyous reunion"- it doesn't necessarily mean your getting back with your ex but something about meeting someone or something that you haven't visited for sometime.

Speaking of which- I did catch up with one of my closest girlfriends today who I had not seen for almost 2 weeks.

We did  have a fantastic time together where we over ate and did a lot of shopping...

So now I'm broke.