It occurred to me whilst in the shower- (some of my best ideas/thoughts happen when I'm shampooing)... that it's okay for me to be single and be where I am emotionally and mentally.
I don't need to rush into anything.
It was a refreshing thought, although i've been saying this and thinking about it for some time.
What really did occur to me is that:
I needed to allow time to pass to allow me to heal/ be stronger /find my happiness or whatever it was.
Although I have felt ready for sometime and wanting to start the next chapter, it was that moment that I realized...
If the roles were reversed, as in- if I had met a guy(lets say in 2-3years time) and he had just ended a 5 year relationship with his gf/fiance/wife (lets hope not all 3 at once because aint nobody got time for a player) and started dating me like days/weeks or even months after it all happened, even I would hesitate to start a relationship because you know that it's because of time that allows you to emotionally seperate yourself from your past.
With this thought, i figured- how can I expect to be in another relationship so soon if I wouldnt accept it in someone else?
In saying that, this has happened to me once before. It was my ex husband who had put me in this predicament 5 years ago where he outrightly lied about when he was single. It came down to the question really...but ahhh semantics.
Reality was- he walked from one failed relationship into another relationship in a very short space of time.
The problem was- it was a year after we had been dating that this topic was ever raised. The lies really bothered me - and frankly the writing was on the wall back then too but I was too in love to see the problems.
But needless to say- this lightbulb moment for me, made me realized that I want to be able to enjoy my time alone. Single life isnt as bad as I used to fear it to be.
I needn't rush anything.
The next chapter of life- doesnt evolve around a guy.
In fact- its all about me.
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