The way forward

I think to myself... maybe one day Ill meet another guy who will become my boyfriend.

The word boyfriend in itself seems so bizarre. Makes me feel like im 16, except when I was 16 there always seemed to be a lot more available suitors. At 31... its slim pickings.

As Im getting older, with all the different experiences ive had with dating and my recent and impending divorce with my ex, im weary about any relationship ill end up having in the future.

I certainly realize now that single life is absolutely fantastic. Not having to give a shit about anyone other than myself is a selfish feeling that only I get to enjoy. Yes, it would be nice to have someone to go to dinner and watch movies with but relationships are embedded with complications.

I would have to learn to deal with other people again, and take in considerations of someone elses perception of me, of the things i do and the impact i have on them and the people they are connected to.
A simple task isnt as simple as it looks.

Right now, in my single life- i can take the risks or not take any risks and the only person i disappoint is effectively myself.

Frankly, ive started to live the lifestyle of learning to love myself and doing whatever i feel like on my terms without any qualms or having to worry about anyone else.

Its a great feeling to have- where your life isnt so much dictated to you or having to compromise to keep two people happy.
Lets face it- nobody wins in a compromise.

If anything- ive learnt to come accustomed to this newprofound freedom and this life ive started to live.

And meeting someone new- at this stage, doesnt look something im all that interested in. Especially with the fact that my goal now is to study and complete my bachelor of business so that one day i can pursue my current career overseas.

I never thought id ever want to do anything like that but here i am.

I believe a relationship would definitely dampen that and obviously make life complicated.

Having being emotionally crushed once, also doesnt help and frankly the next guy, if he ever did come along- would have to offer something special.

I wouldnt give up this lifestyle or still want to pursue my goals.

But im pretty sure with my lack of going out, more exercising at the gym and being an office creature- theres close to no chance of meeting anyone.

Which means Im probably safe....for now