That one moment

"Because of one persons haste decision, it has ramifications for everyone else."

My ex husbands decision to seperate meant that in that single moment, it unaligned me with everyone I knew.

You'll find with long term relationships or life in general that you make and keep friends that have the same interests/life goals as you.

For me, it was with women who working, in relationships (mostly engaged or recently married),buying homes and on the road of having babies.
That was our similarities.

Then overnight, all of a sudden... I became single. I was all of my friends "single friend" or more or less " the friend thats getting a divorce".

Im at that awkward phase where couples make me sad, talk of buying a house is so unrealistic because its seems so unachievable, babies will only happen via immaculate conception and the list goes on.

I can only look on and watch other peoples coupled happiness as they build their lives together whereby Im learning to gather my thoughts and feelings and picking up the pieces of my life from the ground again.

Its hard no doubt but what can I do? After all the trauma Im going through, these are the people I have who are supporting me through these tough times, so I need them and I cant expect that their lives go on halt whilst I figure myself out nor can I stop them from enjoying their lives and wanting to share that with me.

I also know, I need to build a new circle of single friends, maybe friends who now on the same life path as me. Not that Id be dismissing my current friends, no- they will forever be important but married people are forever limited to how much they can go out or do the thing that single people can do.

But if thats not achieveable because lets face it, i struggle at 31 to make new friends (will need another blog about this), i guess ill just have to outlive and outgrow the awkward phase and learn not to let everything I used to have and can't have anymore bother me so much.